Party of the Year
by Vibrant Spectrum
Summary: The Captain General is hosting an End of Year party! All hell breaks loose as the Captains and their squads try to prepare for it. Crack? Possible OOCness.
1. The Letter

I got this idea when I was taking a shower after a party hosted by my condominium. I thought why not have a Bleach character host a party, since I've been wanting to do a Bleach fic anyway. And so, here it is. I think it might be multi-chaptered. Please excuse the shortness, because I'm a new writer and in English class they always tell us to shorten the story in a composition. So please excuse me if the first chapter is less a thousand words, especially if you like reading long stories.

The party ideas are from the party I went to earlier tonight. Therefore, the setting of the party will be at night. But this isn't so important because I will mention the time frame later on. However, this is set before the Soul Society Arc. They don't even know that Ichigo exists yet. I shall not say any more or I might be sued for giving spoilers.

This is what happened at my party, only that I'm making some changes here and there.

Disclaimer: If Bleach belonged to me, I would make them into real people, clone them, and then sell them to fangirls and fanboys for a lot of money. In fact, I would probably buy the whole crew. But enough with my rambling…Onwards!

**Party of the Year**

The year was coming to a close. Well, as close to a year as a spirit can count. After all, why count a year when you can live for an eternity?

However, the Captain General had always insisted that they keep that particular tradition alive; no one ever knew why. That is, until the day a letter arrived on all of the Captains' desks. There had been no need to call a meeting for that matter, although most of the Captains' might have preferred it-they would have been able to plea for a cancellation.

This is the dreaded letter which arrived on their desks' that day:

_To: All Captains and Vice-Captains of the Gotei 13_

_This year, Seireitei will have an end-of-year celebration party, the reason being that the human world is becoming more modern- we must also have progress, or we will never go forward. These are your tasks for the party:_

_Squad 1- The Captain General is to give out prizes when deserved. He is also to create the guest list as well as organize the events. _

_Vice-Captain Chojiro Sasakibe will juggle fire as well as swallow it. The fire is kindly donated by the Captain General. _

_Squad 2- Captain Soi Fong will be head of security. The Command Corps will patrol the area. _

_Vice-Captain Marechiyo Omaeda will be in charge of making sure that everyone who enters has a ticket and is on the guest list. He is to stand outside the only entrance and collect tickets. When the show has started, he may stand inside the entrance, but he is not allowed to sit down with the guests. He is also not allowed to eat. He must stand there until the end of the show, and must report early to the entrance._

_Squad 3- Captain Gin Ichimaru will go on stage, and whoever can make him frown (or not smile) will receive a prize. Anyone can participate._

_Vice-Captain Izuru Kira will show the audience some effects using only kido. _

_Squad 4- You are in charge of decorations, food, cleaning up, music, selling tickets and above all, first aid. Should anything go wrong in any of these categories, the 4__th__ squad shall take all blame._

_Squad 5- Captain Sosuke Aizen is to be part of the entertainment. He will act as the illusionist for the show._

_Vice-Captain Momo Hinamori will be the assistant for all acts which require an assistant._

_Squad 6- Captain Byakuya Kuchiki will do a ventriloquist act. A doll will not be provided to him. If he does not know how to perform ventriloquism, now is the best time to learn- a noble can never have too many skills. Lessons will be provided to all who ask. _

_Vice-Captain Abarai Renji is in charge of giving tattoos to people. He is to set up a booth in between Squad 11's fifth seat Ayasegawa Yumichika's fashion booth and Captain Mayuri Kurotsuchi's face-painting booth. He will have assistance. _

_Squad 7- Captain Sajin Komamura is in charge of all pets should anyone decide to bring one along. He is forbidden to wear his helmet._

_Vice-Captain Tetsuzaeomon Iba is in charge of making sure that the sake isn't hogged by just one person. He will have assistance. _

_Squad 8- Captain Shunsui Kyoraku is in charge of making sure that the people are having fun by going around and asking them. If he finds out that the people are not having fun, he is to report in, and we will do something about it. _

_Should Vice-Captain Tetsuzaeomon Iba and his assistants fail, Vice-Captain Nanao Ise is in charge of making sure that nobody drinks themselves into a stupor. Should this happen, she is to escort them out of the room or building until they are sober, and if necessary, she is permitted to use force. _

_Squad 9- Captain Kaname Tousen is in charge of the lighting throughout the entire show. He is also to print flyers and advertise to event in the magazine. _

_Vice-Captain Shuuhei Hisagi will provide assistance to Vice-Captain Abarai Renji in giving tattoos. _

_Squad 10- Captain Toshiro Hitsugaya is in charge of finding out what the children think. He is to give ice-creams to the children as a bribe to tell him what they as well as their parents what they think of the show. The adults will be unsuspecting because Captain Shunsui Kyoraku will already be asking around, and children might have heard some things from their parents. The reason we are using you is because when your host asks you if you are enjoying their party, you will automatically say yes, regardless of what you actually think of it, but you blend in because the children will mistake you as one of them. You are to report every time you hear something negative. You are forbidden to frown, and are highly encouraged to show more teeth (or SMILE)._

_Vice Captain Rangiku Matsumoto is to assist Vice-Captain Tetsuzaeomon Iba in making sure that the sake isn't all drunk by just one person._

_Squad 11- Captain Zaraki Kenpachi is in charge of breaking up fights as well as preventing them. The rest of your squad will assist you, except for Vice-Captain Kusajishi Yachiru, who is in charge of giving candy out to children, third seat Madarame Ikkaku, who will assist Vice-Captain Tetsuzaeomon Iba in protecting the sake, and fifth seat Ayasegawa Yumichika, who will set up a fashion-advise booth next to Vice-Captain Abarai Renji's tattoos' booth._

_Squad 12- Captain Mayuri Kurotsuchi is in charge of face-painting. He will set up a booth beside Vice-Captain Abarai Renji's tattoo booth. Vice-Captain Nemu Kurotsuchi will assist him._

_Squad 13- Captain Jushiro Ukitake is in charge of supplying candy to Vice-Captain Kusajishi Yachiru._

_Vice-Captain Kaien Shiba and third seats Sentaro Kotsubaki and Kiyone Kotetsu are to be the Masters of Ceremonies. They are to prepare their own scripts._

_There will be no rehearsals. Everything is to be impromptu. The MCs, however, will arrange the sequence in which events will take place. Do not try to ask me about switching roles; it is not permitted. You will be notified later concerning the date of the party or any other changes. Although it is an End-of-Year party, the celebrations might take place well after February._

_Signed,_

_**Captain General**__**Shigekuni Yamamoto-Genryūsai**_

However, as much as they wanted to not do this, it had been the Captain General's orders. In less than 12 hours after the arrival of the letter, the whole of Seireitei was turned upside-down.

/o0o0o0o0o0o0o\

Well, here it is, Chapter one! I hope you enjoyed it. Please review and give any suggestions or constructive criticism. I will update, but it all depends on the response. Go and tell all your friends out there to review!!


	2. Mass Chaos

Thanks for reviewing, people!! I really appreciate it! I also appreciate that people read, even if they don't review, although I would prefer it if they did. Also, I'm also glad that everyone who reviewed liked my first Bleach fanfic. Keep up the reviews!

On with the fic (copyrighted to all those authors and authoress out there)!

**Party of the Year**

Should a shinigami happen to walk around Seireitei that day, he would have seen many interesting things which one wouldn't have expected to see. For example, if he made his way to the training dojo of the first squad, he would have seen that the whole room had been blackened with soot, and the Captain General attempting to conjure bite-sized fireballs with Ryūjin Jakka, with his Vice-Captain standing nearby holding what appeared to be a fire extinguisher while trying every once in a while to swallow a fireball.

Had he not died from laughing, he would have continued on to Squad Two's office and seen Captain Soi Fong sitting at her desk and staring at a set of Seireitei's blueprints while muttering crossly to herself.

Then he would have made his way to Squad Three's office and seen Vice-Captain Kira manipulate a hovering ball of light while telling his Captain the saddest stories he knew, whether they were true or not, while Captain Ichimaru tried his hardest to keep on smiling.

If he didn't stay to watch the scene, he would have moved on to Squad Four's headquarters, which seemed to buzz like a beehive. Members were running everywhere, tending to the sick and injured, discussing what food to cook for the party, and making decorations. The Eleventh Squad wasn't helping at all, either. Most of them had gone to the headquarters to pick fights as they would not be getting any for a while during the party.

Should he not have decided to help to Fourth Squad, he might have moved towards Squad Five's office, but then he thought against it. After all, why would a man who could cast an illusion by just drawing his sword have to practice? And the Vice-Captain merely had to stand there and look pretty; it was an easy enough job. So he turned to Squad Six's office instead.

There, he saw the Vice-Captain attempting to paint tattoos similar to his own on to a life-sized mannequin while Vice-Captain Hisagi hovered nearby watching him with utmost concentration. When the shinigami who was too curious for his own good inquired about the Sixth Squad Captain, all he got was a mumbled reply about a puppet.

The shinigami shrugged and made his way to the Seventh Squad office, where Captain Komamura was holding his head in his hands. Vice-Captain Iba was drinking himself silly, lying down on the couch with a nearly empty bottle held to his lips, with several other bottles lying around him. His Captain either had not noticed, or did not care at that point in time.

The shinigami shook his head before proceeding to the Ninth Squad office. On the way there, he ran into the Captain of the Ninth Division himself, but did not say anything. He watched the Captain go on until he reached the Fifth Squad headquarters and went inside. He frowned but thought nothing of it and strode past the Ninth Squad headquarters towards the Tenth Division offices.

There, he saw Vice-Captain Matsumoto sleeping on the couch. Behind the couch, Captain Hitsugaya sat at his desk, a hand mirror lying in front of him. His head was face-down against the desk, with both his arms folded around it. He was mumbling to himself, and every once in a while, he would lift his head, hold up the mirror, and make a strange face. The curious shinigami assumed it was a smile. He shook his head again before heading towards the Eleventh Squad dojo.

The shinigami was surprised that he had been right about their location. But where else would one ever find the fight-happy crew that was the Eleventh Squad? He watched Ikkaku trash a weaker member without even activating his shikai and Yumichika walk around the dojo, practicing by giving people fashion advice.

He moved on to the Twelfth Squad's research laboratories, where Captain Kurotsuchi was working on another project. He was one of the few people who did not seem concerned about the upcoming party. Sitting at a nearby computer was Vice-Captain Nemu, who appeared to be researching the art of face-painting. In her hands she held a palette full of bright colours and a paint brush. Beside her stood Vice-Captain Yachiru, bouncing from one foot to another. It seemed that she was going to be practiced on by Vice-Captain Nemu.

He passed the laboratories and started towards the Thirteenth Squad offices. Just as he arrived, he saw Captain Ukitake hurry out. He approached the room and glanced inside. There, he saw the Vice-Captain and the two third seats huddled together in a close circle. When he asked where the Captain had gone to, the Vice-Captain had immediately stood up and said that it was none of his business. Then he continued on to say that the Captain had gone out to get more candy.

Hanataro Yamada shook his head sadly. Soul Society really was in bad shape, and it was all because of that one letter. He took a little pill with a skull printed on it and swallowed it, before rotating his shoulders and making his way back to the Fourth Squad headquarters. There was a lot of preparing to be done for the big day, and Captain Unohana had put him in charge of the decorations.

**[/Bonus Edition!!\**

Kisuke Urahara received an envelope with the Soul Society seal on it. He opened it cautiously, wondering if he had done anything wrong while working there as the Twelfth Captain. Of course, now that he had left, they shouldn't have been able to hold anything against him. Unless…. No. Urahara shook his head. They couldn't have possibly have found out.

Urahara scanned the contents of the page before smiling with glee. An invitation to the party of the year! He pulled his fan out of his sleeve and hid his face with it while considering what to do.

--7777777--

Well, it's now midnight here! Which means… _**Happy New Year!**_

I hope you enjoyed it. I know the grammar and time frame is a bit off, so please tell me if you have any idea how to improve it. Or don't tell me, but review anyway! Either way is fine by me.


	3. The First Rehearsal

Thank you for reviewing again, people. We authors always appreciate a review, whether it's good or bad or signed or anonymous. But first, I have to warn you. The chapters will not be coming out as frequently anymore, reason being that school starts in less than 24 hours. Heck, I don't even know how many chapters this story is going to have!

Moving on…. Here it is, the 3rd chapter!! Apologies if the previous one was too short. I will try to make this chapter as long as I can, just like every other chapter and story I write. But the one thing I'm afraid of is that it will interfere with the way I will write my essays from now on… Oh well. The teacher will just have to deal with me.

There will be more bonus editions! What did you think of the first one? Well, there's going to be more… That is, if I can squeeze it in. Well, I should stop rambling now.

**Party of the Year**

_To: All Captain and Vice-Captains of the Gotei 13_

_There has been a change of plans. Since we have an ample amount of time on our hands, we will hold at least two rehearsals before the upcoming party. The three MCs will have to finish preparing their scripts by the second rehearsal. As for the first one, they will improvise. However, if they find that they are more comfortable with an impromptu act, then by all means they have permission to perform without preparing a script beforehand. _

_Captain Sosuke Aizen will create an audience for us using his zanpaktou's ability. Everyone has their tasks. You all know what you have to do. _

_The rehearsal will be held tomorrow at 3 o'clock in the afternoon. We will meet in the Great Hall, where all our rehearsals will take place. However, the venue for the actual party has not yet been decided._

_Signed,_

_**Captain General Shigekuni Yamamoto-Genryūsai**_

The second letter arrived on 13 desks throughout Seireitei. Swearing was heard everywhere as everyone worked twice as hard to achieve their tasks.

\2008002008002/

3 o'clock seemed to arrived much too quickly for 28 exhausted people. They dragged themselves of to the Great Hall, looking like the living dead. Well, technically, they were the living dead but you get what I mean.

Captain Unohana helped everyone to freshen up. Then, the rehearsals began.

At the front of the Great Hall, there was a stage with curtains, which performers could hide behind during their introduction before their performance. The Hall was big, with only one entrance, which Vice-Captain Omaeda stood guard at. He was not very good at his job, though. When the Captains and Vice-Captains walked by, he did not stop them or ask for a ticket. Instead, he pulled a bag of fried rice-crackers out of his robe and started munching on them.

As his Captain walked by, he managed to drop crumbs in her hair again. He got no warning this time. Captain Soi Fong instantly bashed her fist into his jaw, and a resounding crack was heard. She then grabbed the bag of rice-crackers and crushed them into a fine powder with her fists before dumping the contents over his head.

They moved on and sat down on chairs which had been strategically placed around the Hall. Captain Aizen drew his sword, and an audience immediately appeared around the Hall, alongside tables laden with food which had not been there moments before. Then, as Captain Tousen dimmed the lights, the illusionary audience took their seats.

The three MCs climbed on the stage via the stairs and huddled together in a circle to do some last-minute discussions before breaking up and getting some microphones from a Fourth division member who was working backstage. The microphones had been ordered specially by the Captain General himself, but rumour had it that he would use it for karaoke after the show.

The MCs stood in a line on the stage: Sentaro, followed by Kaien and Kiyone in that order. Kaien held the mic to his lips and started off, "Welcome, shinigami of Seireitei! We will be your MCs for today. I'm Kaien Shiba, VC of the Thirteenth Squad, and beside me are third seats Sentaro Kotsubaki," he paused as Sentaro made a rude gesture at the audience, "and Kiyone Kotetsu, both from the Thirteenth Squad as well. " he stopped as Kiyone made the same gesture at Sentaro, much to the delight of those gathered.

After the laughter had died down, Sentaro picked up where he left off, "The first act will be performed by Vice-Captain Chojiro Sasakibe from the First Squad, who will attempt to juggle and swallow fireballs. The fireballs were kindly donated by none other than our very own Captain General, who has spent a lot of time practising making bite-sized fireballs. Over to you, booger-girl."

"Why you…" Kiyone growled but continued anyway, "Here he is, ladies and gentlemen! Vice-Captain Chojiro Sasakibe!!" she ended off to a round of applause before the three of them left the stage arguing with each other.

Chojiro stepped on stage from behind the curtain, followed by his Captain, who was holding his released sword in one hand and a fire extinguisher in another as Tousen made spotlights shine on both parties. They bowed together and moved to their respective locations- the Captain General moved to stage right, almost hidden by the curtains, and Chojiro stood at centre stage, near the front.

Shigekuni waved his sword in his Vice-Captain's general direction. Instantly, five medium-sized fireballs appeared and revolved around his head. The Captain General frowned a bit and they shrank, just small enough to be eaten.

Then the balls lowered into Chojiro's hands. He started throwing them up and catching them with only one thought in his head: Drop them and the Hall will burn down.

He managed to keep them in the air for a few minutes, but then the Captain General noticed that some people in the Hall were already getting restless. He decided to do something about it.

Shigekuni waved his sword in his Vice-Captain's direction again. To the audience, if they had not been paying attention to him, it would look as though he had just tossed the balls higher than all his previous times. Between Chojiro and Shigekuni however, it acted as a cue.

The audience grew quiet as the fireballs fell through the air towards Chojiro's open mouth. Shigekuni also watched him closely, momentarily losing his concentration.

Just as the first fireball was about to enter his mouth, it seemingly exploded. In reality, however, it just grew bigger; too big to fit into the Vice-Captain's mouth.

0-o-0-o-0

The Fourth Squad medical team disappeared through the entrance of the Hall, carrying a moaning person on a stretcher.

"Umm…Well, that was…umm….great? Give it up for Vice-Captain Chojiro Sasakibe…!" MC Kaien said somewhat unconvincingly. The audience gave a weak applause which died down almost instantly.

"Up next, we have Captain Gin Ichimaru of the Third Squad! He will come up on stage, and whoever can make him frown, or anything other than smile, will receive a prize. However, as this is just a rehearsal, no prizes will be awarded. Please welcome, Captain Gin Ichimaru!" MC Sentaro hollered to loud applause.

Gin stepped onto the stage with practised ease. He faced the audience, and Tousen turned the spotlight in his direction with the same fluid movements.

Gin started to speak, but before any words could come out, a little girl rushed out from Aizen's crowd and kicked him in the shin. Then she ran back to the audience and seemed to disappear.

"Now, now, tha's not very nice of ya' is it?" he muttered and shot what only Aizen could recognise as a glare at him. To the rest of the audience, it would appear as though he was smiling at Aizen.

At that moment, Yamada Hanataro walked awkwardly onto the stage. He gestured for the Captain to lean down a bit and started to whisper into his ear. After a few minutes, Gin's face began to contort. If anything, if could no longer be called a smile. Instead, it appeared to be tilting downwards, making Gin look like he was about to….Cry?

MC Kiyone decided to intervene before the Captain lost all of his pride. "Let's give it up for Captain Gin Ichimaru! And not forgetting seventh seat Yamada Hanataro, who managed to accomplish the seemingly impossible task!" The audience broke out into a deafening applause, but maybe it was so loud because before that, there was absolute silence.

Captain Gin nodded graciously before stepping off the stage and running out of the Hall, presumably to find a quiet corner to cry in.

Hanataro blushed at the sudden attention he was receiving. He stumbled down the stairs and headed to the Fourth Squad's Headquarters, mumbling something about them needing help.

After the laughter had died down, MC Kiyone spoke again, "And now, we have Vice-Captain Kira Izuru, who will perform _kido_ for us." The introduction was punctuated with polite applause as Kira climbed onto the stage.

"Before I begin, I want to request that all lights are turned off." He looked at Tousen, who nodded and hit the main power switch. Instantly, the Hall was enveloped in darkness.

"Thank you. Now, ladies and gentlemen, if you could just look this way..." Kira's voice shook a bit. Then the front of the Hall was lit up with colourful lights; it was as though there were fireworks in the Hall, only better.

0-o-0-o-0

As the applause finally died down, the MCs appeared on the stage again. "Thank you for that wonderful performance, Vice-Captain Kira Izuru," Kaien held up his hands to stop the applause before continuing, "And now, we have Captain Sosuke Aizen, who will be the illusionist for the evening." As Aizen rose and strode to the stage, there was a standing ovation for him; it was, after all, his audience.

He walked onstage and bowed before gesturing at Momo to accompany him onstage. She blushed lightly but walked nervously to his side. "Ladies and gentlemen of the audience, Captain Sosuke Aizen and his lovely assistant, as well as his Vice-Captain, Momo Hinamori!" MC Kaien finished off to a final round of applause before the spotlight was focused on the pair.

Aizen gestured at Momo to reach her hand into her sleeve. She did so, and with a surprised look, pulled a Chappy plushie out of it.

Aizen then told the crowd that whoever assisted him for the next trick would get the plushie. Instantly, Rukia stepped up with an obsessed glint in her eye.

"Alright then. Will you just stand right here?" He pointed to his right. "Now then, ladies and gentlemen. Watch, and be amazed!"

Momo brought a dark, blackish-bluish cloth and threw it over Rukia. Aizen circled and waved his arms over the still figure, muttering to himself all the while. Then, in a fluid, unpredictable movement, he drew his sword and stabbed it into Rukia. The audience gasped as the figure buckled and collapsed to the floor. As some of them stood up to help, Aizen waved them back to their seats, accompanied with a mumbled, "She's fine…"

Aizen circled the still figure once more before he stood behind it. He then bent down and took a firm hold of a cloth before standing back up and yanking the cloth upwards.

Instead of a bleeding Rukia, hundreds of hell butterflies emerged from beneath the cloth, their wings fluttering gracefully, much to the awe of the audience.

As they flew through the windows, Momo put the Chappy plushie on the floor, and Aizen cover it with the same cloth. This time, instead of letting the cloth rest on the floor, he held it up with two fingers to up about eye level. Momo circled the cloth three times before stepping aside as Aizen pulled the cloth to the side again.

As it came away, Rukia appeared again, and this time she was holding the Chappy plushie. The audience cheered again as the three of them bowed and returned to their seats.

"Thank you, Captain Aizen and Vice-Captain Hinamori, for that amazing performance. Now, let me introduce you to the Captain of the Sixth Squad, Captain Byakuya Kuchiki!"

"……Byakuya Kuchiki!" MC Kiyone called out again. "Uhh…Captain Kuchiki?" Suddenly, Renji ran up and faced the crowd. He cleared his throat and began, "Captain Kuchiki has not had sufficient time to prepare for his act. He claims he will be ready before the party, but not before the next rehearsal, if there is another one." Renji then walked off the stage and sat down.

"Well… Okay. Moving on then… Umm, what's next, turd?" MC Kiyone addressed her question to MC Sentaro.

He growled, but ignored it as well. "Hmm…Next? Uhh… Actually, that's the end of our show."

"Well, ladies and gentlemen, thank you very much for coming to the party, we hope you enjoyed yourselves. Goodnight!" The three MCs yelled out at the audience before bowing and going backstage.

Aizen waved his sword and the audience disappeared. Everyone present rose and gathered around the Captain General, including the MCs, waiting for his comments on their performance.

"Well, from what I've seen so far, it looks as though the party will be a success. Of course, we all need to perfect our own acts, and we must not forget everyone else's roles. We will also have to change its name; instead of having it as a year end party, we could have it as our first annual party, with the date being different every year." He nodded his head before concluding, "Dismissed."

The shinigami headed out of the door and back to their quarters, several discussing the day's performance and what could be done to improve it. Rumours were already going around that there would be one last rehearsal before the actual performance.

**[/Bonus Edition!!\**

"Yoruichi, do you want to come with me to a party which the Shinigami are hosting?"

"The Shinigami? Why would I want to attend it for? They probably think I'm dead or something." A pause and a lick. "Why don't you ask Isshin Kurosaki instead?"

A slight pout. "But he lost his powers. It would be disgraceful to invite him… And besides, he has a family to look after now."

"So why don't you go alone?"

"Hmm… No. I already have an idea anyway, just in case no one wants to go with me. But why wouldn't anyone want to go with me anyway?"

Jaws parted, revealing sharp teeth, and as the voice started to give a large handful of reasons, it was interrupted by the merry jingling of a phone.

"Hello? Oh, it's you… Why is someone like…? Oh? Really now….Reeaallly?? Before I agree, what will I get out of it? Uh-huh… Yeah… Hmm… That _would_ help quite a bit… But it's not enough. Oh? You're increasing? _Ooooh_… You have a deal. Now, can you please give me the specifics?" A pause to scribble some things on a scrap of paper. "Uh-huh…uh-huh…mm-hmm… Are you sure about that? Alright, alright… Don't worry, you'd get it before your deadline. Thank you so much. Pleased to be working with you. Bye now."

"Who was that, Kisuke-kun?"

A bright smile which was immediately hidden by a fan. "A customer… A very…uhh…_special_ customer."

8—8—8—8—8

_**Finally done!!!! **_ Arghh… Sorry it took so long to get this out, but school has started and I think my teacher(s) have a fresh, new dislike for me and it's pressurising. Also, this chapter was very long (as you can see, hope it wasn't too long). I really hope it was worth the wait.

Please tell me what you think in a review. If you think it's too long, too short (doubt it), or if you think it should have gone a different way or if you spot any mistakes, REVIEW. Thank you.


	4. The Last Rehearsal

Sorry this took so long, but there was school and no motivation, except for mikaylamillward. Thanks for reviewing, and sorry you had to keep coming back to check. Oh yeah, and I think the teacher's hate me BECAUSE I try to be their pet. Besides, my classmates already make fun of me, and I don't need anymore trouble from them.

Nothing else to say here, except that I'M GOING TO SEVERE ALL TIES WITH THEM (stupid classmates). If you want to know why, leave me an email address or sign in to ask and I'll tell you why.

Disclaimer (which I shamelessly forgot about for the other two chapters): IF I OWNED BLEACH, THEY WOULD NOT BE THIS SUCCESSFUL I WOULD HAVE MORE MONEY.

**Party of the Year**

_To: Captains and Vice-Captains of the Gotei 13_

_The venue of the party has been finalised. It will be held in the Great Hall. We shall have a final rehearsal one week from now. By this time, all of you should have sufficient supplies and skills needed for it. The Ninth Squad will also print programmes for the guests._

_There will also be a dance for the guests, as well as anyone who wishes to participate. Seventh seat Yamada Hanatarou from the Fourth Squad will act as the DJ. _

_Also, because some people feel very strongly about this, Vice-Captain Kusajishi Yachiru will perform something for us of her choice. She will not have to perform at the rehearsal._

_Signed,_

_**Captain General Shigekuni Yamamoto-Genryūsai**_

Cheers erupted throughout Soul Society – February the Second was so far away, which gave them more time to practice and catch up on paperwork.

As it happened, all the Captains and Vice-Captains were so elated that they managed to finish all their work in half the time, a new record.

--7788773—

By the time the middle of the week had arrived, everyone was bored from having no work. Not that they were complaining.

As most of Captains and Vice-Captains lazed around in a special lounge, the door was flung open. In stormed none other than Byakuya Kuchiki himself, who rushed quickly to the back room which had a telephone.

Now, this might not have been unusual had the phone been a normal one, but this was a special phone. It could contact people in the mortal realm.

As he flung the door shut behind him, all heads turned to look in his direction. Then, after looking at one another, all the Vice-Captains and some of the Captains rushed to the door, their ears all pressed against it.

"The dateline has been changed. Four days from now. I don't think I can stall them much longer. You can do it before the dateline?" His voice sounded relieved. "Good. Where do I meet you? Underneath the Sakura trees behind my house three days from now? Perfect. See you then."

The shinigami rushed back to their seats, trying to look natural. The moment the noble stepped out of the room and the door closed behind him, the room burst into noise. Some asked what the conversation was about, while others discussed it fervently.

Hitsugaya shook his head and sighed. Before two days passed, he knew, at least half of Soul Society would know about Byakuya and his 'secret friend'. Well, at least it would keep things alive around here.

--7788773—

_Three days later_

A surprisingly small crowd of people were gathered behind rows of rose bushes or behind Sakura trees. Either the top gossips of Soul Society had actually managed to keep their mouths shut, which was highly unlikely, or the gossips managed to convince the overly-curious people of Soul Society not to go. The latter choice seemed more likely.

Byakuya stepped of his porch and went through his back gate into his Sakura garden behind him. He stood there for a few minutes, getting impatient, before an oddly familiar spirit force engulfed the waiting crowd, some of which barely managed to conceal a surprised gasp.

A figure clad in green and white appeared before the tense crowd. He was holding what appeared to be a green and white box, which was slightly bigger than a normal shoe box.

Byakuya sighed, relieved. "There you are. I thought you went back on our deal."

The figure pulled a green and white fan out of his sleeve and hid the lower half of his face, with his green and white bucket hat hiding his forehead, exposing only his eyes. "Me? Back out of a deal with the head of the Kuchiki clan? Never…"

Byakuya did not respond. Instead, he held out his hand for the box, which most of the crowd had just seemed to notice. Urahara lowered his fan and continued, "Of course, you mustn't forget your end of our bargain; you have to-"

Byakuya held up a hand to silence him. "I know what I have to do. We will arrange another meeting in the future to further discuss the details. But for now- the box."

Urahara seemed slightly hesitant. "Are you sure about this, Byakuya? You can always return it after you're done with it." He passed the box to the Sixth Captain.

He seemed to consider it far a few moments before agreeing. "Very well. When we next meet to discuss the details of my bargain, I shall pass it back to you."

With that decision made, the two parted ways; Urahara disappearing again while Byakuya made his way back to his house. Just before he reached his gate, he peeked into the box. Satisfied, he continued towards his door.

--7788773—

The next day, shinigami from all squads made their way to the Great Hall again, armed with supplies. This was their final rehearsal, with the other shinigami going as guests. Anyway, they would already be going, so it was like a taste of what they would get. They also had to pay for tickets to see the show.

There were no decorations in the Hall, simply because it was not the real event. There were, however, booths set up around the Hall, waiting to be occupied.

Chairs had also been set up around the Hall, some of them with names on them, obviously reserved for Guests-of-Honour.

The Captains and Vice-Captains filed into the Hall about one hour before it began in order to prepare.

Captain Kurotsuchi's arms were laden with paints and brushes, while Nemu followed behind, carrying an enormous banner.

Behind them, Vice-Captain's Renji and Hisagi marched to their adjacent booths, carrying similar items.

Then came fifth seat Yumichika, who only carried a giant flag. He headed towards the booth which he had specially requested to be designed, with a little room at the back for private discussions.

In a booth near the entrance stood Captain Komamura, without his helmet. His booth had been specially designed to look like a petting zoo, although he was not the one who had requested it.

At the centre of the Hall, there stood two tables. One of the tables was laden with cutlery and all kinds of food, including a special rabbit-shaped egg from the human world which had been donated by one of the Kuchiki siblings.

On the other table, there were lots of cups, and an all-you-can-drink sake buffet. Of course, people like the Eleventh Captain started drifting in its direction, but they were fended off with a sign which said, 'This is just a display. There is no sake here.'

Hanatarou had set up his DJ station beside the stage, and a huge area surrounding the tables for the dancing later on.

His eyes skimmed the Hall, and went around once more. Everyone was either laughing, arguing, or working their butts off. 'It's going to be one heck of a day', he thought and sighed.

--7788773—

An hour later, shinigami started coming into the Great Hall. They did not have programmes yet as the Ninth Squad had not yet printed them.

The guests mingled with each other, chatting and laughing merrily. Hanatarou had started up the music, and some people were already dancing, while others attacked the tables.

When the Eleventh Captain went to see why people kept approaching the sake table. Now, a new sign hung below the first one. It read, 'Fooled you."

Kenpachi roared before grabbing a cup. He drank quite a lot before Vice-Captain Iba approached him, followed by Vice-Captain Matsumoto. They got into a heated argument while almost everyone else stared.

Captain Soi Fong had brought along her black pet cat. As she entered, she passed it to Captain Komamura, who growled at it before placing it into a pen for cats. He glanced at the dog pen beside it, which was still empty.

There were queues outside the other booths, most of them being young teenagers. The line outside Yumichika's booth was entirely made up of girls.

In front of Renji's and Hisagi's booth, there were several young men waiting in anticipation, several of them bouncing on their toes while waiting eagerly for their turn.

Captain Kurotsuchi's queue was the shortest of them all. Maybe it was because most of them were scared of him, or maybe it was because of his banner. IT had a picture of him on it, and it read, 'This is my specialty. Won't take more than 10 minutes. If it does, you can have the privilege of becoming my personal guinea pig- mine died recently…Didn't last more than two weeks.'

Oddly, Captain Ichimaru was one of the people waiting in line outside Captain Kurotsuchi's booth. People shot him strange looks, but no one asked him anything.

By the time the MCs stepped on the stage with microphones in hand, everyone had settled in one chair or another, some sporting tattoos and face paint. Most of the younger people who were still in the academy had gathered at the front of the room, where Captain Hitsugaya sat with them, wearing ordinary shinigami robes.

Behind them sat the Captains and Vice-Captains, followed by the squad members. Captain Kyoraku was the only Captain who sat with the squad members; even the shinigami who had to tend to their booths and the Vice-Captain of the second squad could join their Captains. Vice-Captain Yachiru was also near Captain Hitsugaya, munching on something from a paper bag and glaring at anyone who even spared her a second glance.

"Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen! Welcome to our first annual party! I'm MC Kaien and with me are MCs Sentaro and Kiyone!"

"Our first event is… Uhh… Hey, drunkard, what is our first event anyway?" Kiyone shot at Sentaro.

"I don't know booger-girl, why don't you go and pick your nose instead of asking me?"

"Go and get drunk! See, the table is riiigghhtt over there," she pointed it out to him.

"Sorry you had to see that. Please welcome our first act, Vice-Captain Chojiro Sasakibe!" Kaien said before shooing his fellow MCs off the stage.

Captain Tousen focused the spotlight to the centre of the stage using a remote control as Chojiro nervously stepped onto the stage, followed by his Captain, whose sword had already been released.

They both bowed and the Captain General waved his sword like before. This time, five small, bite-sized flaming balls appeared without much hesitation.

They dropped into a pair of waiting hands before being juggled for several minutes as the audience cheered him on. Then MC Kiyone's voice sounded, "And now, be amazed as the Amazing Amberman attempts to swallow them!"

Chojiro nearly dropped his balls when he heard that name. Since when was he the Amazing Amberman??! He decided to get even with them later and follow his cue now.

The five balls flew through the air one last time before falling towards the open mouth. They fell in amidst loud applause from the audience and smoke billowing from his mouth.

He hiccupped and more smoke emerged, but bowed together with his Captain and left the stage.

MC Kaien appeared on the stage alone. Evidently, the other two MCs were backstage quarrelling.

"Thank you for that...umm… heart-warming performance, Vice-Captain Chojiro. Up next, we have a game for everyone who wants to participate. Winners will bring home their very own fireball to practise with!

"The object of the game is to wipe the creepy smile off Captain Ichimaru's face." He pointed at him and a sea of heads turned in his direction. "You will be given a total of five minutes or longer should Captain Ichimaru wish to stay on the stage. Come on up here, Captain."

The captain stood and went onstage, waiting for anyone who was willing to try and win. "What? No takers? Wha' a surprise indeed…"

He stood there for a few moments and waited. Then a young boy in the front row stood up and ran onto the stage. The boy was quickly followed by several other children, eager to claim the prize for themselves.

The little boy ran up and stood in front of him, before looking up at him and yelling at the top of his lungs, "YOU ARE A REALLY CREEPY OLD MAN!"

Captain Ichimaru glanced at him and bent down, still smiling. He whispered something into the little boy's ear, and in about half a minute, the boy burst into tears and ran off the stage. He glanced at the line, and about half of them quickly ran to their seats.

The next little girl went up. She stared at his face, then circled around him twice, before yelling, "I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER!"

Captain Ichimaru bent down to her level. "Well I, little girl, know things that could scar you for life. Let me give you just one word. Algebra."

The girl's face contorted as though she had been poisoned. She immediately turned and ran screaming out of the Hall.

--7788773—

Five minutes later, the line was completely gone. Either they were shaking in their seats, or hiding in some corner of Seireitei, bawling their eyes out.

"Thank you, Captain Ichimaru, for scaring the children senseless. Now, please welcome Vice-Captain Izuru Kira, who will demonstrate _kido_ for us."

The crowd clapped politely for him, unsure of what to expect. "Captain Tousen, please turn off the lights for the duration of my performance." The Captain pushed a button, and everything went black.

Something appeared to explode in the Hall. Everyone looked as multi-coloured lights glowed, and fireworks appeared to explode within a bubble.

--7788773—

"Another round of applause for Vice-Captain Kira Izuru for his wonderful performance!" MC Kaien hollered as Kira headed back to his seat in the audience.

"And now, we will have a short break so that you will all have time to enjoy the food, drinks and booths which we set up," he continued. His fellow MCs were no where in sight.

Most of the audience rose, and headed towards the booths and food tables. Vice-Captains Iba and Matsumoto stood guard beside the sake table, making sure that not too much sake was drunk.

The queues outside the booths were forming again. Most of them were guys, saying they wanted face tattoos just like Renji and Shuuhei.

Hanatarou put on some music, and couples from all around the room began to sway to the tune. As they swayed, Captains Kyoraku and Hitsugaya mingled with the crowd, squeezing as much information as they could about the party so far.

After half-an-hour, MC Kaien came back up on stage alone. He cleard his voice and said, "Break is over, people. Oh yeah, and the other two MCs are kinda… tied up at the moment, so they won't be able to join us."

In a little room backstage, two third seats sitting on chairs and tied back to back cursed him mentally. They would have cursed him as loudly as possible and fought with each other, but they had been gagged as well.

"And now, ladies and gentlemen, for our two final performances. Of course, we have left the best to last, so be prepared to be amazed ladies and gents! Please welcome Captain Aizen Sosuke and his Vice-Captain and lovely assistant, Hinamori Momo!"

Aizen and Hinamori walked on stage, and bowed graciously. Aizen whispered something to his assistant, who nodded and went backstage.

He raised his hands to the audience to quieten them down, before speaking. "Thank you. Now, we will perform a trick so spectacular that you won't believe your eyes. But first, a warning. Do not try this at home, or anywhere else for that matter."

Hinamori reappeared, holding a huge, blood red cloth, big enough to completely cover Captain Komamura.

"I need a volunteer now." Several hands shot up and Hinamori went offstage. She walked to a young boy of about ten years old near the front and escorted him upstage. She then took the cloth and wrapped him in it, with only his head showing. The boy was so excited he was all smiles.

Aizen pulled his sword out of his sheath, and in one quick movement, beheaded the boy. He picked up the head and stuffed it into his oversized sleeve.

There were a few moments of silence before screams erupted throughout the Hall. Women fainted and men gasped. The children near the front stood up and cheered, thinking it was part of the trick.

Hinamori blasted the figure beneath the red cloth with kidou. The cloth burned away and the audience gasped again.

There was nothing under the cloth. The audience stood up and looked around for the guy, some people glaring at Aizen.

Aizen, however, calmly pulled a big cloth out of his sleeve and threw it over his assistant. He waited a second for the audience to notice him, before pulling the cloth of the person.

There stood the boy with Hinamori, still smiling from ear to ear. He took the prize for volunteering and hurried back to his seat, where the kids around him immediately pestered him about what had happened.

The audience was silent for a moment; then it burst into applause. The applause even managed to last for about two and a half minutes, and some people even whistled. Aizen and Hinamori stood at centre stage and bowed graciously until the MC ushered them off.

"Thank you for you kind applause. Now, please put your hands together again for our final act, Byakuya Kuchiki!"

Byakuya walked on stage with something in a box. A chair had been placed near the front of the stage for him to sit on. He sat down, opened his box and reached his hand in. When he pulled it out, it was attached to a puppet of a cheeky-looking monkey.

Before it had even been completely taken out of its box, the monkey opened its mouth and spoke in an equally cheeky voice.

"Look! A bunch of lower life losers!" The puppet pointed at the audience. Byakuya raised an eyebrow at it, and turned and whispered something to the puppet.

The puppet smiled and said, "Aww, fine. My boss here just told me that I had to play nice today."

The audience chuckled lightly and fell silent, waiting to hear what the puppet had to say. Then Byakuya spoke up. "Koko here has some jokes to tell, don't you, Koko?"

The monkey glanced sideways at him before grinning and nodding. "I sure do. Where to start?"

_10 Minutes Later…_

"So they told the scientists, 'maybe you should try defrosting the chickens first.'"

The crowd roared with laughter again. Some people where clutching their sides desperately, gasping for breath, while others had already collapsed on the floor.

Byakuya picked up the box from the floor and started stuffing the monkey in when MC Kaien started signalling to him that his time was up. "No! NO!! Please, don't put me back in there! Please! NOOO!!!" His last word was muffled as Byakuya closed the lid over it. He then picked it up and strode gracefully off the stage and to his seat.

MC Kaien instantly took over. "Please give a big round of applause to Captain Kuchiki and his puppet, Koko!" The audience cheered loudly, and a few flowers flew in Byakuya's direction.

"Thank you ladies and gentlemen for your time and support. Our show is now over; please feel free to leave anytime you like. Of course, if you want to stay, you can help the Fourth Squad to pack up everything…" Most of the audience suddenly disappeared.

He went backstage and untied his fellow MCs. He would have died had he not been their superior. They followed him to the floor, where everyone was gathered around the Captain-General.

"Vice-Captain Shiba, good work out there, especially managing to get rid of your MCs. I think the audience also liked your work."

"For everyone who performed or set up booths, you did quite a good job as well. But it doesn't matter what I think on this matter." He turned to Captain Kyouraku and Captain Hitsugaya. "Well?"

The taller man started first. "The adults were polite as you predicted. However, I sensed that they meant most of what they said -that it was spectacular, and that they had never seen anything like it."

The white-haired captain spoke up, "Well, at least you were able to get something out of your group. All I could get out of the children was candy, what the boy who helped Aizen did, and candy."

The General-Captain nodded and concluded, "Well, I know that we're all tired, so I'll end this quickly. Keep this up, and everything should go smoothly on the big day itself. Dismissed."

The Captains muttered to themselves and split up to head back to their quarters, some discussing to themselves about the day's events.

--7788773—

FINALLY DONE! No bonus bits for this chapter because I can't think of anything to write about. Now, before I forget, I need ideas for Aizen's performance, jokes or something cheeky for Koko to say on stage, and any spelling or grammar errors.

Any ideas that you want to see in the fic and ideas for my next companion fic are also appreciated. It's going to be about Byakuya paying Urahara back for helping him out. All ideas concerning that fic, or any ideas at all are welcome. If you want to challenge me to a fic, I don't mind, but you might have to wait for a while.

Thank you for waiting so long without spamming or anything people. I just hope that you haven't forgotten about me, or how to review, or I would be a very sad author. Thanks again for your everlasting patience, readers.


	5. The Disasterous Finale

Well, by the time you read this, you'll probably be really, really mad at me for taking so long to update

Well, by the time you read this, you'll probably be really, really mad at me for taking so long to update. Here is my apology. Sorry for taking so long, but I was feeling really lazy, and I know that most authors can relate.

I think this will be the last chapter. Expect fights, a crying Ichimaru, and characters which were not mentioned as much during the previous chapters. If I do think of something to add on as a new chapter, I'll mention it later on down below. But for now, I hope you enjoy this (possibly last) chapter.

Disclaimer: If I owned Bleach, then you're a plot bunny (whatever that is.. Can someone please tell me what a plot bunny is?).

**Party of the Year**

The whole of Seireitei was buzzing with activity as the dateline for the show approached. New supplies were bought, food was prepared, and performances were practiced again and again. Except for Byakuya, who was never seen practising.

Time seemed to fly past, and before everyone was completely sure that absolutely nothing would go wrong, the day arrived.

Hours before the party started, Fourth Squad members trooped into the Great Hall, armed with decorations, tables, chairs, food, the sound system, and whatever else people need when they throw a party.

After setting up most of the important stuff, they called their Captain and the Captain-General in to inspect their work. They walked around the Hall together, muttering and nodding every once in a while.

Finally, when they finished their circuit of the Hall, they left with their approval, and with the Captain-General saying something about giving the Fourth Captain a raise in her salary.

The Fourth Squad took a break after touching up the area, and about half-an-hour after they finished their work, the first few early-comers arrived, hoping for good seats or the first pick at the food. Unfortunately for them, most of the seats had names on them, and the food and sake table had been barred off for later.

Hanatarou had arrived early as well, and was working the sound system to play music for people to dance. One by one, as more and more people arrived, shinigami and Rukongai residents alike started twirling around the centre of the Hall which acted as the dance floor.

Soi Fon and her men had already left to carry out security procedures. She had taken her Vice-Captain as it had been decided beforehand that if they left him there, he might have gotten grumpy without his rice crackers and start to offend the audience.

The Captain-General and his Vice-Captain arrived first. They quickly went to their seats at the front of the Hall, deciding to observe the activity around them.

After that came Captain Unohana with her Vice-Captain. They walked around the Hall, making a last-minute inspection of the squad members' work.

Next to arrive were Aizen, Gin and their Vice-Captains. They also wandered around the Hall aimlessly, talking about something or another.

Then the Sixth, Seventh, Ninth and Twelfth Captains, as well as their Vice-Captains, arrived. Byakuya immediately sat down, waiting for the show to begin. His Vice Captain, as well as Hisagi, hurried to their tattoo booth to set their equipment up, which would only be used during the break half way through the show. Both the Captain and Vice-Captain of the Twelfth Squad followed their lead; they had to set up their face-painting booth.

Captain Komamura reluctantly went to a big booth near the main entrance. He had been ordered to stay there until the show started to look after any pets which any audience member had decided to bring along. However, if no one brought any animals along before the show started, he would be free to do whatever he wanted during the break.

When he reached the door, his fellow Captain of the Tenth Squad stomped through the double doors with the usual scowl on his face and headed towards where the children sat, followed by his big-busted Vice-Captain, who was giggling at something. Judging from their faces, Komamura guessed that Matsumoto had said something offensive about her Captain's clothes, which was similar to the residents of Rukongai.

Several minutes later, two squabbling third seats, an annoyed Vice-Captain and their white-haired Captain walked through the doors. Captain Ukitake took his seat beside Kenpachi's chair while his three subordinates headed for backstage prepare for the show.

Behind them came a partially drunk Captain Kyoraku with his straw hat tipped slightly over his face, followed by 'his lovely Nanao-chan'. He plopped down on his chair among the Captains while she shook her head before heading towards the other Vice-Captains.

Unfortunately, Captain Kenpachi was not around. Rumour had it that he had followed Yachiru's directions again, and that he was now somewhere in the Prohibiting World (Dangai/Severed World). Still, no one seemed to be very bothered by this because if the Captain was present, most of the sake would probably have been finished by now, and some sort of fight would have broken out.

About thirty minutes later, the last minute stragglers finally arrived (excluding Kenpachi) and quickly sat down on random chairs. Hanatarou cut the music, and the MCs used that as a cue to start.

"Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, to Seireitei's first, and possibly last, party!" Sentaro called out to a roaring audience.

"We're your MCs for today! I'm Kiyone, third seat of the Thirteenth Squad-" "–And I'm Sentaro, the better third seat of the Thirteenth Squad!" As they glared at each other, Kaien decided to step in before they started their usual squabbling. "Well I'm better than both of you; Vice-Captain of the Thirteenth Squad, Kaien, so do as I say and shut up for now!"

The pair continued glaring at each other, but decided not to disobey their Vice-Captain for fear of the dreaded paperwork.

"Okay, so first up on today's performances we have the Vice-Captain of the First Squad, Chojiro Sasakibe, to play with fire! Remember kids, to never do this at home! Oh yes, and we can't forget the donor of the fire, Captain General Shigekuni Yamamoto-Genryūsai! Please give it up for both of them!" Kaien continued as he glared at his third seats, almost daring them to start fighting again.

The crowd cheered as both the Captain and Vice-Captain of the First Squad walked up onto the stage, Chojiro looking slightly nervous and Shigekuni tottering behind him, leaning on his walking stick. He had forgotten to release it earlier as no one had reminded him, and his old age affected his memory.

"Captain, if you will please release your sword so that we may start?" Chojiro looked over at his Captain nervously, anxious for it to begin.

His Captain straightened his back, held up his staff, and started off, "Reduce the whole of creation to smouldering ashes, Ryūjin Jakka!" Instantly, the entire audience felt a huge heat wave. The stage was burning up because of his release! Fortunately, the Captain-General had remembered on time what his shikai did, so he tried to control it.

The audience was not panicking at all. They all thought that it was all part of the performance. The captains, however, were more worried. They glanced at each other, knowing that if they didn't do anything soon, the whole of Soul Society would be burnt down as the Captain-General had to wait a while before he could turn off his shikai.

Hitsugaya jumped up, somehow managing to pull his unsheathed sword from no where. He figured he had no choice now that the stage was on fire but to release his sword. Besides, he didn't see anyone else helping out.

"Sit upon the frozen heavens, Hyōrinmaru!" A large ice dragon instantly appeared from the tip of his sword. "The flames!" The young captain called out, pointing his sword at the stage. The dragon wove its way there and circled the Captain-General, brushing against the fire and instantly freezing them before disappearing.

The audience sat for a few moments, stunned, while the Captains glanced nervously at each other. They received a shock when the audience broke out in applause, cheering the performance. Oblivious to the fact that they had been in any danger, the audience did not sit down for a few minutes.

Hitsugaya obviously felt awkward, but went up on stage and bowed anyway. He glanced at the Captain-General and his eyes widened. Hyourinmaru had thought that the Captain-General was an enemy and had brushed against him as well, freezing the old man.

Then he noticed that the ice had water on it, and that it was melting. He felt relieved and went back to his seat, where he was immediately surrounded by admiring children.

The ice cracked and shattered, and a dazed Captain-General stepped out of the remains. A Forth Squad member hurried onto the stage and gently led him off of it. As for his Vice-Captain? The poor fellow realised what had happened to his Captain, and quickly rushed downstage after him. Fortunately, he managed to escape with only minor burns.

"W-Well, that was certainly…exciting, wasn't it, Sentaro?" Kiyone choked out. Sentaro could only nod and glance towards where the Captain-General was being led away. "That definitely didn't happen during our rehearsals… Anyway, please give it up again for Captain Yamamoto and his Vice-Captain Chojiro, and uhh...Captain Hitsugaya as well!" The audience cheered and whistled again.

"Now we will have a short game for anyone who wants to play. Captain Ichimaru," Sentaro pointed at the captain, "will come up here on stage, and whoever can make his smile vanish will… Uhh…" Sentaro looked around wildly, his pleading eyes passing over his fellow MCs. "Will get recognition throughout all of Soul Society as Ichimaru's Smile Slayer!" Kaien quickly filled in for him as the crowd cheered their approval. "You have a minimum of five minutes, unless Captain Ichimaru wishes stay on-stage longer. Come on then, Captain."

The silver haired captain walked on stage and the MCs left him there to wait. After a minute of waiting, Ichimaru opened his mouth, "Wha'? Is everyone here scared o' me? Aww, I'm hurt." He hid his face in his hands, pretending to sob, but peeked out from behind them.

"My father told me to do this." A soft voice drew everyone's attention to the side of the stage, where Vice-Captain Nemu stood. She approached the Captain and knelt on one knee before him. "Captain Ichimaru, my father says that I like you, so I have to ask you whether you want to meet me later."

His features did not change as he patted her head. "Vice-Captain Nemu, please tell your father tha' I'll only feel the same way when the Tenth Captain grows taller than Kenpachi." He turned back towards the giggling audience. "Anyone else?"

"Okay! I'll claim that title for the Eleventh Division!" Heads turned towards a gleaming head moving towards the stage. Ikkaku, who no one had noticed until now, was walking up on stage, his usual predatory smile on his face.

"What would you do if I beat you in a fight?" Ikkaku questioned. "Would you break down crying?"

The captain smiled at him. "Maybe. Bu' I'd like ta see ya try, Ik-ka-ku," he said his name in a sing-song voice and the two of stared at each other, the tension rising.

Aramaki Makizou climbed up on stage. "N-Now, Ikkaku, you know the Eleventh Division's supposed to prevent fights… Could you make my job easier for me?"

Ikkaku glared down at him, before scowling and jumping off the stage. "You owe me a good fight, Aramaki."

"Well, tha' was fairly easy. If no one else wants ta try, I'll be goin' offstage now." Gin turned. "Wait, Captain. Can I try?" His blond Vice-Captain was there, looking at him through one eye. "Of course, lieutenant."

Kira approached him, but suddenly froze to the spot. His Captain was walking towards him slowly. He reached him and leaned close to him, so that their foreheads were almost touching. "Kira," the Vice-Captain shivered as he felt his ever-smiling Captain's breath, "whatever you're going to try, it's not going to work." Gin sidestepped and walked past him to the side of the stage and left his shaking Vice-Captain behind, who was ushered offstage by another member of the Fourth Squad.

"If that's it, then I'll be going now." Ichimaru turned away but stopped as he heard a voice. "Anyone can play, right?" He, along with the audience, turned his head towards the timid voice.

"O' course." Gin smiled at him, but now, it didn't seem as confident as before.

Hanatarou smiled, relieved. He stood beside Gin and beckoned for him to lean down before whispering something into his ear. He stood there for almost two minutes whispering while the crowd looked on.

Slowly, Gin's face changed. His eyebrows came together so that if he had not been smiling, it would have been a frown. Then his smile reduced gradually before curving the other way, so that now it looked as though he was concerned about something. Finally, his features scrunched together towards the centre of his face, so that he now seemed like he was going to burst into tears.

Gin Ichimaru, Captain of the Third Division and nicknamed 'Foxface', ran off the stage with his hands over his face.

The audience stared for the second time during that show. Then they all turned back to look at Hanatarou, who was already walking back to his sound system.

The first one to clap was Captain Unohana. Her slow, gentle claps were soon echoed throughout the Hall, and it quickly grew five times louder as people grew more and more supportive. Hanatarou looked embarrassed, but walked back on stage, where the three MCs met him.

Kaien took Hanatarou's wrist and lifted up his arm, almost carrying the boy. "Here he is, ladies and gents! Yamada Hanatarou, seventh seat of the Fourth Division and newly appointed Ichimaru's Smile Slayer!" The crowd cheered, but this time Sentaro quietened them. Kiyone turned to Hanatarou and asked, "So, what did you say to him, anyway, that would make someone like him cry like that?" She then held the mike in front of him, waiting for him to speak.

"…Well, actually… Do I really have to say it?" Hanatarou muttered. "Yes. I'm sure everyone wants to know what you told him." Kiyone replied. "A.. Alright, then. If you people really must know, I just told him stuff… Stuff t-that happened to m-me."

There was an awkward silence. "Well… Uhh, thanks, Hanatarou, for sharing that with us…yeah…" Kaien trailed off as Hanatarou went back to his sound system again.

"Okay, so up next we have Vice-Captain Kira Izuru from the Third Squad to demonstrate some kido for us. Please welcome him now!" Sentaro said as enthusiastically as he could.

There was a loud applause, but softer than normal; the audience were still surprised by Hanatarou's reply.

Kira nervously went up on stage again. He signaled to Aizen, who nudged Tousen and told him to turn off all the lights.

"Thank you, Captain Tousen. Now, if you would all kindly look this way, towards me voice…" Kira said and started off his show.

Half-an-hour later, the entire hall rang of applause for a few minutes. Kira stood on the stage awkwardly, blushing lightly at the sudden attention. He walked towards the edge of the stage, tripped and landed on the floor, before he scrambled back up and jogged to his seat.

"Thank you, Vice-Captain Kira for that spectacular performance! We all enjoyed it very much!" Sentaro said before Kiyone cut in. "Yes, and now, we will proceed to the break! Please feel free to enjoy the booths we have prepared-" "-or get autographs from shinigami, like our fantastic Captain!" The two of them glared at each other while their Captain tried to shrink in his seat. Kaien picked them both up by the scruffs of their necks and threw them backstage.

"Sorry about that. Okay, you guys are free to go, but please be back here by forty-five minutes' time, thirty if you can help it." Kaien waved and went backstage, presumably to give his third seats a lesson.

Murmurs broke out as one by one, the audience got up and stretched their legs. They wandered around and visited the booths. Strangely, the queue outside Captain Kurotsuchi's booth was the shortest, and those standing there looked ready to run away.

Of course, the sake table was immediately hogged by drunkards (excluding Kenpachi who was still missing). Vice-Captain Iba stood vigil over the table with Matsumoto and Ikkaku, who was trying his best not to beat them up and steal all the sake. Surprisingly, his fellow guards were doing quite well in resisting the sake.

Then, Ikkaku snapped. He drew his sword and brandished it threateningly at Iba. Matsumoto frowned and said, "Think about what you're doing, Ikkaku. Are you sure you want to do this?"

Ikkaku smirked. "Idiot. When have I ever regretted what I've done? Why don't you guys join me instead? Either that, or fight me. I don't mind either way." He started inching his way towards the table, his eyes trained on them the whole time.

Matsumoto and Iba exchanged glances. They did not want to fight him, even though they knew they would get in trouble if they didn't. Matsumoto acted first. She stepped forward, and purposely tripped over her own feet. "Ow! My ankle, I think I twisted it!"

Iba, catching on, gasped. "Oh! We should get some ice or something. I'll carry you." Matsumoto allowed herself to be picked up, and Iba _shunpo_-ed away in search of some unnecessary ice.

Ikkaku smirked, grabbed the nearest bottle, and sat down on the floor. He drank through many bottles as no one was brave enough to stop him, before finally collapsing in a heap on the floor, heavily drunk.

Nanao sprung into action. She marched up to him, armed with her giant book, and leaned over him. "Ikkaku, you have to leave. You're too drunk to stay here."

Ikkaku murmured something inaudible and rolled over on his side. Nanao frowned and poked him. "Ikkaku! You have to leave! Don't make me use force!"

Ikkaku laughed. "You? Force me?! Hah! Yeah, right…" He trailed off before dozing off. Nanao growled, "That's it." She rolled him so that he was looking at her face, then she removed her glasses and glared at him sternly. "_Now,_ Ikkaku."

The bald third seat almost paled visibly. "Y-yes. Right away, ma'am. I-I'll just b-be leaving n-now…" Ikkaku scrambled to his feet and dashed towards the door. Nanao just smiled knowingly, before replacing her glasses on her nose. Unofficially, she had just taken over Iba's job, and everyone steered clear of her after that.

Kyoraku mingled with the crowd, exchanging polite phrases now and then. Hitsugaya was forever swamped by an adoring crowd, who couldn't seem to get enough of him no matter what he did. He ended up with a bigger scowl on his face than when he entered the Hall.

Around the booths, a huge queue was forming outside the tattoo booth, mostly made up of wannabe-macho-men and swooning fangirls of Hisagi and Renji. Oddly, there was hardly a line outside the face painting booth, and those that were there were all members of the Twelfth Squad. The Captain growled and glared at the other queue, but no matter what he did, the crowd would not move.

Nearby, Yumichika was doing a roaring trade with teenage girls. However, he only spent a few minutes with most of them because they could not stand him telling them that 'no matter what you do, I'll still be prettier than you' again and again and yet

again.

Captain Komamura wandered the Hall happily; no one had brought any pets along this time, thinking it would be inappropriate.

Hanatarou started the music again, and a clearing was formed around the centre of the Hall, where people started dancing, or just have a good time.

Forty-five minutes whizzed by, and soon, everyone returned to their seats with sloppily painted faces, tattoos here and there, or full stomachs and a smile, excluding Captains Hitsugaya.

"Alright! You're all here early, so I guess you guys must be expecting something big! Well, you were right! Please welcome Captain Aizen and his Vice-Captain Hinamori, both from the Fifth Division!" Kiyone said before going backstage.

The audience politely clapped, unsure of what to expect. Smoke poured out from backstage, enveloping the entire stage in it. The audience started muttering, wondering if something was wrong.

The thick smoke cleared, and on it stood both the Fifth Captain and his Vice-Captain, dressed in elaborate outfits. They bowed, Hinamori rolled out a box of about her height from backstage. She climbed inside, shut the door on herself, and looked out of the round hole towards the audience.

"Now, I will perform a trick which is highly popular in the Living World. Please sit back and enjoy." He slid a panel over the hole and proceeded to draw long, sharp swords out of nowhere and plunge them into the box. The audience gasped, and one woman even fainted.

Aizen then threw a huge cloth over it, completely covering it, and, after retrieving a saw from backstage, started cutting it into three parts. When he was done, he put each separate segment on a nearby table and tugged the cloth away. Hinamori's face was showing in the hole of the first box. She was smiling cheerfully. The second box did not reveal anything, but the third box had a pair of feet sticking out of them, and the feet were wiggling.

More women fainted. Aizen took the boxes, and stacked them up on the floor, but in the wrong order. Hinamori ended up with her head at the bottom, her feet in the middle, and her torso at the top, but didn't seem very worried that her Captain had dissected her.

The audience laughed, and Aizen grinned with them before putting his assistant back to normal. He opened the box and Hinamori stepped out, normal. The audience cheered, and both of them bowed before going backstage together.

"Heh… I guess they were a little short on material today, huh, Kiyone?" Kaien turned to the third seat and she shrugged. Her fellow third seat piped up, "I was expecting better, actually, because of the rehearsals, but it Captain Aizen's choice what he wants to perform right?" Kaien nodded and picked it up. "Wow, you two have actually stopped fighting for once. Better enjoy the peace for now, I guess. So, while I'm enjoying the peace and quiet backstage, please enjoy our last performance today by the Captain of the Sixth Squad, Kuchiki Byakuya, who will be performing a ventriloquist act." Sentaro placed a chair on the middle of the stage before being ushered backstage by Kaien.

The audience clapped again and the noble sighed to himself as he took out his puppet, put it on his hand, and sat down on the chair on the stage. The audience stared at him silently for a moment, waiting for something to happen. Suddenly, the monkey puppet on his hand sprang to life (but it was still attached to his hand) and introduced itself. "Woah, what a big crowd! Lemme introduce myself before we do anything! My name is Koko, and I think I'm a monkey from the Living World."

The crowd glanced at each other and laughed lightly. 'What was the Captain thinking? Well, whatever it was, it had better be good.' They were thinking along those lines.

"Alright then! Joke time! Okay, here I go! There was once a man. When he woke up in the morning, he had a habit of farting loudly, before getting ready for the day. His wife would always tell him, 'one day, you'll really fart your guts out!'

"The husband ignored her, and continued farting every morning. One Thanksgiving morning, the wife woke up early to prepare the turkey. She gutted it, and after she had stuffed it, she caught sight of the turkey's guts, and had an idea. The wife snuck upstairs with the innards in her hands, and put them down her sleeping husband's pants before going back down and continuing with her work.

"Some time later, she heard a loud fart from the upstairs bedroom. Minutes later, her husband hurried past her to the bathroom. After about two hours, he came out with a big smile on his face. He looked at his wife and told her, 'Honey, you were right, I did fart my guts out this morning! But don't worry, because I spent the last two hours in the bathroom stuffing them back in!"

There was a sort of horrified silence in the audience for a few moments. Then, the first few chuckles were heard among the children of the crowd. Soon, the Hall erupted into laugher. Who would have thought that _the_ Kuchiki Byakuya knew such rude jokes?

The crowd laughed a few minutes, before the monkey started speaking again. This time, they gave it their utmost respect and attention, hoping for another joke.

"Alright, here's another joke! There were once three men that wanted to-" Koko stopped talking and looked down with Byakuya. Kneeling down in front of the Captain General was a messenger from the Second Division. His voice rang out clearly around the silent Hall.

"Urgent message from Captain Soi Fon! The Patrol guards have spotted a strange monster emerging from _Dangai_, headed in this direction. It is crashing through all the walls, and the other guards and the Captain are trying to slow it down now."

The old man considered the situation for a few moments before replying, "Very well. Return and assist your Captain. I will try to contain the situation here."

The man disappeared and the Captain General stood up. "Please remain calm, the Covert Ops are taking care of the situation. However, if a monster crashes through the main doors, please make sure that you leave the Hall in a quiet and orderly fashion through the side doors; the remaining Shinigami will take care of this 'creature'. Captain Kuchiki, please continue."

Byakuya nodded and settled back on his seat. Koko said, "Where was I? Oh, yeah! Okay, so the three men all wanted a job as a police detective. They went to the police chief, and he decided-"

The front doors decided to burst open at that moment. Standing there was a slimy, purple monster. It had spikes on its head, and it towered at least a head over most people. The crowd was starting to panic when a high-pitched scream was heard at the front of the Hall. Onstage, Koko seemed to be hyperventilating with fear, and was screaming. Suddenly, he jumped off the Captain's hand and ran towards the nearest exit. The crowd stared. Wasn't 'Koko' just supposed to be a puppet, with Captain Kuchiki controlling it?

Then the monster at the doors started walking in, and the crowds started running through the side exits. Strangely, it did not seem interested in the people. Rather, it was heading towards the sake table.

A ball of slime was shot from the purple creature, and it landed on the floor with a _plop_ near Captain Hitsugaya. It tilted its head at him as he drew his sword, and said, "Hey, grumpy-pants, where's my candy?"

The slime was starting to fall away. Before the eyes of the present Captains, Zaraki Kenpachi and his lieutenant appeared.

"Debrief, now!" The Captain General called to anyone who was still in the Hall. The Captains gathered around him, Kenpachi still drinking from a sake bottle.

"Well, at least we can say tha' we ended off wit' a bang this year," Ichimaru nodded.

"Captain Zaraki, what were you thinking, going into the _dangai_ like that?" The Captain General looked sternly at him, and he shrugged. "I dunno… Yachiru was leading, and then we ended up there, so we went straight. By the way, I think ya ought to send someone out to Soi Fon. She went and attacked me for no reason."

The Captain General sighed and turned to Byakuya. "Well, Captain Kuchiki, why were you using an artificial soul? Didn't I say to use ventriloquism?"

"I was doing so well that the puppet came to life, and it got scared, so it ran away." The nobleman intoned, and the Captain General nodded, unconvinced, but decided not to pursue the matter.

"Captain Aizen, was there any reason why your performance was so short and mediocre this time?" The old man looked at him.

"No, sir. Please turn your questions to the others now." Aizen said and Yamamoto sighed. "Very well. Captains Unohana, Ichimaru, Komamura, Kyouraku, Tousen, Hitsugaya, Kurotsuchi, and Ukitake, do you have any comments or feedback you would like to share?"

"I can't see the decorations!"

"My subordinates have been overworked!"

"We should ban pets next time."

"More sake!"

"Don't forget, we need more candy too!"

"There are too many kids!"

"I would like to do a live dissection demonstration next time!"

"Why can't we jus' choose wha' we wanna do?"

The Captain General frowned. "I have nothing left to say. Dismissed!"

**End**

**Congratulations! You have come to the end of Party of the Year! Thank you so much for sticking with this fic for so long, and giving so much support!**

Can anyone guess who gave which comments up there? There's no prize because it's pretty obvious, but I just want to know.

Thank you again for reading all the way to this point. If I didn't have your support, I might have given up halfway. Does anyone want me to do a companion fic where Byakuya pays Urahara back? It won't be money, of course; probably some ridiculous favour. If you have any suggestions, please feel free to drop me a line.

Thank you very much.


End file.
